Finally, let’s talk about the fear of God.

There’s a lot of misunderstanding around that phrase. Yes, the Bible does say that we should fear God. But it doesn’t mean that we should be terrified of God like we’re terrified of someone who has abused us. That kind of fear is based in harm and damage and danger. (And it’s reciprocal; the person who abused you when you were a child is now afraid of you because of what you know.) It’s not healthy.

We should fear God in the sense of honoring and worshiping God. We should acknowledge God’s power, the reality that the Divine knows more than we do, and the fact that we are called to cooperate with the Lord. But let’s build our awareness and belief that God is not out to get us. We are God’s beloved creation and so God is delighted when good things happen to us, and is constantly working to bless us in the way that is best.

Your abuser may have talked about “love” when you were a child, but that was never love. We don’t have to fear God’s love. Instead, let’s gradually grow to embrace it because it’s pure, holy, and designed to bless us. Never to harm us.