Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Pop culture tends to associate holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and—consequently—family remembrance. But I am skeptical of such shiny, trite celebrations. Too often, they use mounds of whipped cream and velvety red bows to disguise complicated and painful family histories. That’s why Halloween is actually the perfect time to reflect on the legacies of those who came before us.

Halloween has its roots in the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced Sow-win), when the Celts believed the veil between this world and the afterlife became thin, allowing the spirits of ancestors to slip back into the mortal realm for a short time. The souls of beloved ancestors were welcomed home: Families left doors unlocked, put an extra chair by the fire, and set an extra place at the table for honored loved ones.

But the Celts also believed that unfriendly spirits could cross between the worlds, and many of our enduring seasonal traditions are meant to keep them away. Celts wore costumes so the spirits of malicious ancestors would not identify their living kin, and lit bonfires to ward off the darkness and the evil it hid.

Many survivors have complicated relationships with their families, sometimes because family members were abusive, other times because family members failed to protect them. So, as Halloween draws close, our prayer for you is much the same as Isaiah’s: That you process the pain from the past as needed and then do not dwell on the harm you may have experienced from those who came before you. That you can catch glimpses of the Divine at work, making your life new again.

And if you find yourself dwelling on things you’d rather not, take a page from history: Light a candle of hope and good memories to chase away the dark and the evil that hides in it.